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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought recording a clip now and then would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?